Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
