who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
