I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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