Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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