Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize