Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
