Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
