Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
