i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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