dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
