Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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