What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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