I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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