I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
