OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
