Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is Oprah even human
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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