No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
