I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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