i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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