I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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