Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
