college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
