If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize