I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
