I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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