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Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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