Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
