I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
love makes seman taste better
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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