Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
