I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize