I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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