Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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