Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
