It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
