I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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