The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
