remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
