on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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