3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize