Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
