I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
