Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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