Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
