I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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