It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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