You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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