Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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