U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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