We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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