I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
