my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
