he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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