new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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